AKA Abraham Bacoln

Today is an important day. Today is (for me) the first Day of Shorts for the year 2007. Sure, I’ve worn shorts around the house, but today I wore them OUTSIDE. It is WARM and I am appreciative. I show this appreciation by wearing shorts, as you may already have figured out. This pleases the weather gods because they like to look at my studly leg muscles.

Also, I’m gonna have to buy new shorts soon. The ones I have used to be kinda loose. Now that I’ve lost even more weight, they’re edging into the realm of too loose, which is a Bad Thing. There’s only so much leg that the weather gods like to see at once, and it doesn’t include all the way up to the butt. If my shorts fall down it may get cold again, and right quick.

I’ve been eating a ton of toaster pastries lately (you know, non-name-brand Pop Tarts) because … see, I don’t usually look at advertising. I am Generation X, I am a product of Saturday Morning Cartoon Syndrome where every commercial was a blaring advertisement and every cartoon was a commercial, and none of the toys actually functioned as promised. So yeah, I tend not to notice ads. I have been trained since childhood to tune them out. GUESS THAT DIDN’T WORK OUT SO WELL FOR YOU, DID IT, MARKETROIDS?

Those guys, I swear …

Aaaaaaaanyway, I went in to Kroger the other day to get some toothpaste and I practically ran in to some aisle stack of a nice pleasing arrangement of geometric shapes. I turned to look at this huge pile of smallish boxes, and there above them were the magic words – TEN FOR TEN DOLLARS. That’s right.

A box of toaster pastries.

For a dollar.

I will not tell you how many I bought other than to say it was less than ten but far more than one.

That’s why I’m eating toaster pastries. Right now. If you want some you can come over and have some.

Would you be willing to try hickory-smoked raisins?

More importantly, do you think you would enjoy them?

Is it really insomnia if it’s not so much that you can’t fall asleep, but instead that you never want to go to sleep? For the past two weeks or so I’ve been staying up far too late – sometimes on school work, sometimes on photographs, sometimes on nothing at all.

I feel like crap the next day, and I know the night before that I will feel like crap the next day – and still I do it. I just don’t want to go to bed. I don’t feel tired. I don’t want to sleep.

Is it insomnia? Or just stupidity?