AKA Abraham Bacoln

June 29, 2008, 11:21 pm
Filed under: tidbit


Sorry, I just had a firefly inside my apartment. That means that the best part of summer is on its way.

Nothin’ special
June 29, 2008, 1:35 pm
Filed under: tidbit

Today I wanted a snack before I went out. While I was cleaning up the apartment I had settled on grilled cheese, but once I got to the kitchen I decided I wanted something More Awesome. Plus the only bread I had was this dark whole wheat, not good standard grilled cheese bread.

Problem was that I didn’t have very much at my disposal in the way of awesome ingredients. However! I persevered! I just got through eating the tastiest snack I’d made for myself in a while, and it wasn’t even anything that impressive.

I took two slices of that dark wheat bread and put it in a skillet with a little bit of butter so that it would brown up good and crispy on one side. Once it started getting warm I put a slice and a half of aged Swiss cheese on each one to start getting melty. When the bread was nicely browned on the bottom I transferred it (with Swiss still on top) to a cookie sheet.

I then lightly sprinkled the two with oregano, and after that I ground some black pepper onto them. Then I grated fresh Parmesan over all of that until I couldn’t see the spices any more and stuck the whole thing under the broiler.

After the cheese had been bubbling for a while but just before it started browning I pulled the slices out and let them cool some before transferring them to a pre-warmed plate. Then I ate them right up.

MAN that was good. And … I’m sorry, but it was so good I didn’t even think to take a picture until it was all gone.

So go broil up some cheese bread for yourself and pretend it’s mine and marvel at how tasty it is and how good it looks or something okay?

Time to go enjoy the sun. See you suckers later.

June 27, 2008, 1:21 pm
Filed under: MYSTERY!!!!


Okay so I checked my mail this morning and I had that little slip in there that says, “Go to the post office and pick up whatever it is we didn’t want to cram into your tiny mailbox” and I thought, “MAN BUT THE POST OFFICE IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN BLUGH” but I went anyway.

I stood in line for what seemed like five forevers and finally the one post office clerk (as in the only one there) got through with the five (million) people in front of me and came back with an envelope.

Looking at the front, I did not recognize the return address. Some guy named Anthony Clark in Indiana. I don’t know any Anthony Clark. I figured maybe it was someone from the onlines, going by their real name.

The package was addressed to “Kevin O’Mara (a man of consequences)” which I thought weird as I do not recognize that phrase.

I stood in the post office and opened the package and I made this face (reproduced for the purposes of this blog post):




I dug around in the envelope and there was NO NOTE


So later today I wrote an email to Nedroid / Anthony and said, “WHAT IS UP WITH THIS AWESOME ART?! WHO SENT IT TO ME?! WAS IT [list of possible suspects]?!”

He wrote back, and said, and I quote:

“I’m glad you enjoy the drawing! I’m not really sure how secret I’m supposed to keep the identity of the person who commissioned it, but I was told when sending it not to include any note identifying him or her. Actually, this person’s exact words were “don’t tell him I sent it, I’m curious to see if he can figure it out”… so my lips are sealed! It sounds like a fun game to me so I won’t ruin the surprise. Good luck!”


So now I have REAL MYSTERY!

And the only clues I have are this:
1. My name is listed as Kevin O’Mara (a man of consequences). A Google search for that exact phrase brings up only one (1) result which doesn’t seem relevant.
2. My ZIP code is listed as the ZIP+4. Now I know you can use the USPS ZIP code lookup tool to find someone’s +4, but I doubt Nedroid would have gone to that trouble. Therefore the person who gave my address must have sent the +4 to Nedroid.
3. Looking back in my Gmail I can see I have sent my address with ZIP+4 to 10 people. Some of them are suspect.
4. Still, there’s that ZIP code lookup tool so I can’t put too much weight on the +4.
5. Whoever commissioned it knows that I love Beartato and Reginald. They also know that I like wine. They also know that I like to shoot things. I think most people that know me at all know those things.
6. They may know that I think of myself as Reginald (and my friend Toby as Beartato). If this is the case, my suspects list just became very short. Reginald is the one shooting the gun in the image, just as I shoot guns.

Unfortunately that’s where my clues run out. I think I have it narrowed down to one of two people. I’m going to think on this a while longer before I start naming names.


Turns out it was my number-one suspect, Calamity Jon Morris! Thank you, Jon! You’re the dog’s bollocks!

June 17, 2008, 9:46 am
Filed under: tidbit

I YAM SO ANNOYED. It feels WONDERFUL out there this morning. When I opened the door my brain said, “FALL! It’s FALL!” because the air was cool and crisp and the humidity wasn’t overpowering and it just SMELLED like autumn. I expected to see some leaves starting to turn colors.

I just now went outside again to take some things to the recycling bin and it still feels like that. I’m wearing shorts and the breeze is all cool against my legs, and the sun is shining brightly but it’s not hot, and the air is so clear, and …


and I just can’t stand the thought of going back to hot muggy summer. Sweating to death. Miserable thick wet Southern oven. Steam bath.

I want October to be here already.

Perpetual October. We don’t even have to have Halloween, just make it … just make it be fall already. Always.

squint II
June 11, 2008, 10:26 pm
Filed under: tidbit

Regarding yesterday’s blog post:

Things have changed.

I received an ominous picture message on my phone today. Out of nowhere:

“I am holding them ransom.”

As if that weren’t enough, shortly thereafter I received this chill-inducing voicemail:

“If you want to see your sunglasses again, meet us at the corner of Freeze and Madison with a bag of twenty dollars in unmarked quarters. I hope you take this message seriously.”

I will spare you, gentle reader, the details of my hellish adventure, and leave it only to say that my sunglasses are now safely back in my possession. They are slightly worse for wear as they were nicked by a shot from my bodyguard Matt’s .45, but it is a small price to have paid to have restored the status quo.

As for the other part of my post, I also managed to find opportunity to take a picture so that’s something.

Now I’m off to the grocery store to buy “cold pregnancy cereal”.

[ note: the image was distorted to protect the identity of one of the perpetrators. the audio is exactly as I received it ]

June 10, 2008, 9:32 am
Filed under: tidbit

So … yeah.

How’ve you been?

I’m fine, I suppose. Kind of busy. I’m mainly writing to say that I’m sorry I haven’t taken many pictures lately, though now it occurs to me that maybe I should post a picture to my Flickr account saying as much, since that’s where pictures go and this is the place for words. Oh it doesn’t matter anyway, does it?

My boss convinced me to be in a play this summer, so that kind of takes up a lot of time. Practice is from 7:00-9:00PM which means that my evenings are effectively split in half and I can’t do much or go too far. That alone is enough reason to have slacked on photography, right? Right! Oh, yes, I also have that internship this summer, so I’m all kind of brained-up about that, and I’m not even sure what that means, but it seems like the right words.

I also haven’t been drinking coffee lately so that’s kind of slowed me down, or so I feel, but maybe I just don’t think I’m going as fast because because I’m not drinking coffee which would let me see how fast I’m going. In my head. The part of the machine that makes words isn’t spinning right this morning. Fire up the gyroscopes.

Fire gyroscopes.


Guh. Lost track for a second. It’s very difficult for me to write this right now because I don’t even remember why I’m wriOH YES I have lost my sunglasses which is kind of dumb. I (almost almost almost) NEVER lose things. I keep track of things, I keep track of things for myself, I keep track of other people’s stuff. It’s disheartening when I lose something of my own. I feel like I’ve let you all down.

But these sunglasses, man, they’re old. I’ve had them almost a year now. The little rubber noseresters fell out a long time ago, and I had to tighten up the joints every week or so with the needle-nose pliers otherwise they would have just fallen right apart. That’s what you get for $11 sunglasses from K-Mart, right? But now I’m blind when I go out, I have to squint, and it feels like I’m in Spain all over again. It’s been 24 hours now and I haven’t seen my sunglasses, and they’re not in my apartment or my car or at work or at the theater so they’re just gone, grew legs and walked off, and I

I guess I’m just going to have to go sunglasses shopping, and that’s one of my least-favorite things.

but hey! Let’s do that thing here, why don’t you join me in it! What’s that least-favorite thing of yours that you’re going to have to do soon? What’s bugging you, making you grumpy? I’m grumpy about having to shop for sunglasses. Isn’t that stupid? Isn’t that just mind-bogglingly American and middle-class and privileged? If finding new sunglasses is the biggest of my worries at the moment then man, I am living one hell of a life.