AKA Abraham Bacoln

Yesterday I blogged that all I wanted was for it to snow, and snow today it did. Tonight I brought that up, and I asked everyone what they wanted me to blog about today, since it’s obvious that I control the world now. Everyone said, “Snow! Snow! More snow! Accumulation!” and then Matt said, “Bags of hundreds.”

So here you go, Matt. All I can think about now is Matt coming into possession of bags of hundreds. That’d be just about the best thing ever. I can practically feel it – all that stiff, rustly, crisp paper, that smell straight from the bank, and no exploding dye packs.

I really do. Today when I got out of the library the sky was this uniform dull gray and it looked so much like snow was on its way. Being away from Tennessee for five years has really done wonders to make me forget what the winter is like around here. The jacket I wore almost all winter in Portland is already looking like it’s gonna be far too light to get me through. My ‘heavy’ jacket might not even be enough.

Still, I can’t wait for that first morning when I wake up and the whole parking lot outside my apartment is white and pristine, no tracks, no footprints, nothing. I know I don’t get snow days anymore, but I can pretend.

Winter is coming, and I feel ready.

After a long day of work in Crossville I got on the interstate and headed west. Sometimes a song calls out to you and you don’t know why – tonight I felt compelled to hear Sunset Road by Béla Fleck. I just knew it was the last song on the album, not even remembering the name or realizing the appropriateness. As I drove I immersed myself in the song, played it loud, felt every sorrowful, melancholy, wistful note. I drank it in until the hair stood up on my arms. The sun, already below the horizon, turned the sky into a muddy orange that diffused into the cold blue above. As I traveled the notes bled through me, the trees turned to dark shadows, the sky transformed to a cold caramel, the stars began to appear. All I wanted was to get home, and I don’t know where home is.

Last night I went to the free screening of An Inconvenient Truth at TTU. Al Gore himself was there but he was totally worthless because he spent the entire night crying since Trey and Megan didn’t show up. The movie itself was good, though I sometimes grew weary of Gore’s tactic of putting some schlock and ‘aw shucks’ between the scientific bits. I would have preferred a harder look at the science with more emphasis on actual numbers. However, I think it’s a great movie overall, and I of course urge you to see it. That doesn’t mean anything, though – when Jason C went on and on about it I didn’t run out and see it.

What we all need to realize is this: sometimes reading about something in a friend’s blog post doesn’t move you to action. You should change your ways and begin to accept me as your overlord. The sooner you do this the better and the less time you’ll have to spend in the sugar mines.

OKAY speaking of action, I need a yea or nay here. We all know I caved on growing a beard, though I have not discussed all the particulars. Doesn’t matter. Now the hair on my head is driving me crazy. I want to shave it all off. I present the following:

Pros: short hair
-Less work
-Can wear hats during winter without messing up hair
-Currently fairly stylish, or at least popular around these parts

Cons: short hair
-None currently known to science

Pros: long hair
-None currently known to science

Cons: long hair
-Can’t make it do anything resembling stylish
-Requires professional haircuts which apparently cost money
-I look like a doofus

Because I am a kind and benevolent ruthless overlord, I submit this to a vote. You, my people, my army, shall help me decide.

Should I cut my hair all short-like?

Yea or nay, folks?

I am about to get on a plane right now. I can’t begin to express what the thought of this installation does to me.

I will openly admit to anyone that asks … though, come to think of it, no one ever has – anyway, I’ll admit I’m a Flickr addict. The first thing I do when I sit at the computer is check my email, of course, and then I check Flickr immediately thereafter. I even have a special bookmarks folder that opens four separate Flickr pages:
1. The main Flickr page, showing my contacts’ photos,
2. My pictures page, so I can see image views,
3. My ‘recent activity on your photos’ page (as seen here) so I can check commenting, notes, and favoriting of my pictures
4. My ‘comments you’ve made’ (here) so I can see if anyone has responded to my comments.

It’s ridiculous. It’s a completely unnecessary amount of Flickr-ing and yet I do it at least five times a day. Maybe ten.

I love your pictures is what I’m saying. I wish you’d take more.

Oh, speaking of Flickr, I’ve started trying to map a lot of my recent shots. Of course I’m not putting the location of your house or front yard or anything, but whatever is common or public I’m trying to get on that big ol’ empty map. I don’t think you can see the maps if you’re not a Flickr member (or not logged in) but I have not done extensive testing (read: any testing). But yeah, maps! Like this picture of me in a tree – on the right you can find a link to the mapped location. S’cool and also very nice not to be relying on a third-party geotagging system anymore.

Okay, let’s see. What else? There was something else. OH YES. I attended Burl’s 30th 31st Burlthday and it was entertaining. I gots a few pics and so did Henry. Oh, yeah, about that picture of me that he has up there … I’m trying to invent a new hobby wherein I run off with the cameras of my Flickr friends and take absolutely terrible self-portraits. So far I only have three (1, 2, 3) but just you wait – I’m sure I’ll find someone else’s camera soon. Damn you, Jason Johnson, for not having fresh batteries for your camera at the Burlthday party. You made me miss a great opportunity!

I finally purchased for myself a decent external flash for my camera, and kept the neighborhood awake last night learning how to bounce flash properly. I think I have the hang of it, and everyone within a quarter-mile radius is probably blind by now and has a funky tan. As for my eyesight – I am currently typing by feel alone so excuse any errors, please-and-thank-you.

There was a whole longer paragraph here about me listening to two disparate yet concurrent Indian songs while studying my Spanish homework, but it was way too long for a piece that didn’t have a punchline at the end. Instead, I leave you with this joke:

What kind of bees make milk?

This is the most exciting thing I’ve read today, which means that … I dunno, I probably need to get out more, or I have some seriously skewed priorities. Who cares if Shinzo Abe is going to be the next Japanese Prime Minister or that Condoleeza Rice is talking about deploying troops to Lebanon when you have haircuts by children.

Seriously. Think about that. Haircuts by children.

I’d do that.

I would totally 100% let a fifth-grader cut my hair. That would be one of the most interesting things ever, great conversation material. As the article states, “[f]or many it is actually less terrifying to contemplate allowing kids to vote,” and that’s strikingly true.

There’s a lot to be said about fostering trust and empowerment in children, these tiny people that will one day be leading our world. I could go on and on, but that’s really not what I’m about. I’m all about looking terrible (or maybe on a slim chance looking awesome) and telling people it’s all some kid’s fault.

Bring me a child.

And scissors.